BillMcGaughey.com
       

Slishkom sosredotocheny dlya moyego zhe blaga 

Bill McGaughey

Ya schitayu, chto kazhdyy iz nas usloviya nashego mozga, chtoby poluchit' opredelennyye soobshcheniya i ignorirovat' drugiye. Eto pomogayet nam ostavat'sya sfokusirovannym na ob"yektakh tseli.

V nastoyashcheye vremya priblizhayetsya k 70 let, ya priznayu, chto ya sotsial'no neuklyuzhiy. YA schitayu, chto eto trudno sdelat' nebol'shoy razgovor s neznakomymi lyud'mi, potomu chto mne nechego skazat'. YA ne znayu dostatochno o temakh - skazhem, pro futbol'nyye matchi - chto drugiye obsuzhdayut. YA by kazat'sya neosvedomlennym, yesli by ya popytalsya prisoyedinit'sya k obsuzhdeniyu.

Chast' togo, kto ya byl opredelen v vozraste ot 9 do 14 let, kogda ya poseshchal podgotovitel'nuyu shkolu. Vpervyye, ya dolzhen byl sdelat' domashneye zadaniye dlya shkoly, chastykh ispytaniy, i dokumenty, kotoryye budut graduirovannykh. YA sidel v klasse kazhdyy den' slushat' uchitelya proyti cherez plan uroka. Doshlo do togo, chto ya mog vspomnit' mnogoye iz togo, chto skazal uchitel'. YA mog by takzhe vspomnit' mnogoye iz togo, chto ya chital v uchebnikakh.

YA obratil vnimaniye na eti soobshcheniya, potomu chto ya znal, chto oni soderzhat informatsiyu, kotoraya byla by na testakh i vliyayet na moyu otsenku. Eto bylo vazhno dlya menya, chtoby poluchit' khoroshiye otsenki. YA byl izvesten kak luchshim uchenikom. YA imel reputatsiyu zashchishchat'.

To, chto ya sdelal po sushchestvu bylo suzit' sferu vnimaniya na to, chto mne nuzhno bylo znat' na testakh. Eto oznachalo, chto ya ne obratil vnimaniye na drugiye veshchi, proiskhodyashchiye v moyey zhizni. YA ne obratil vnimaniye na otnosheniya s drugimi studentami ili v sluchaynykh razgovorakh, kotoryye ya mog by imet' s nimi. Moya samootsenka byla osnovana na poluchenii khoroshikh otsenok. YA trenirovalsya moy mozg, chtoby obratit' vnimaniye na to, chto budet sluzhit' etoy tseli.

V kakoy-to moment ya ponyal, chto zhizn' prokhodit mimo menya. YA ne mog stroit' lichnyye otnosheniya, osnovannyye na moyem buduchi otlichnik. YA nachal ponimat', chto ya byl sotsial'no neuklyuzhiy, potomu chto ya ne imel polnyy spektr opyta, i poetomu ya ne khvatalo sposobnosti razumno govorit' o tom, chto drugiye lyudi khoteli by obsudit'. Oni ne khoteli by, chtoby obsudit' moi vysokiye otsenki ili predmetov, izuchayemykh v shkole. No ya byl sosredotochen na sebe i predmety izuchayutsya v shkole.

YA vsegda imel vozmozhnost' sosredotochit'sya. Eto, vozmozhno, bylo by luchshe dlya menya, yesli by ya rasslabilsya myslenno i otkryl sebya do drugikh vliyaniy. Tem ne meneye, ya byl zastavili poverit', chto akademicheskaya uspeshnost' izmeryayetsya v terminakh klassov budet moy bilet, chtoby popast' v khoroshiy kolledzh i okazyvayetsya na puti k uspeshnoy kar'yere. Pervaya tsel' - kolledzh - ya dostig, no ne vtoroy. YA okonchila prestizhnyy kolledzh, no ne smog pristupit' k dostoynoy kar'yere. YA obnaruzhil, chto rabotodateli byli boleye zainteresovany v sotsial'no kvalifitsirovannykh lyudey, chem te, s vpechatlyayushchimi nauchnymi zapisyami.

Na samom dele, moya uspevayemost' byla daleko razlichen. YA byl posredstvennym studentom kolledzha. V moyem pervom kurse, ya prinyal soznatel'noye resheniye ne provodit' khoroshiye otsenki, kogda ya reshil, chto ya by ne ispravit' oshibku uchitelya, kotoryy graduirovannoy moyu stat'yu nizhe, chem on zasluzhivayet. YA perestal byt' khorosho zatochennogo obuchayushchuyu mashinu i nachal besporyadochno dumat' o ideyakh.

V kolledzhe ya byl pervym filosofiyey mayora. Moya novaya missiya v zhizni ne bylo, chtoby poluchit' khoroshiye otsenki, no obnaruzhit' istinu po-novomu. YA stal zastenchivym o svoikh sobstvennykh myslitel'nykh protsessov. YA napisal idei na listakh bumagi, pereschital ikh, i sozdal perechen' tem, kotoryye mogut byt' okhvacheny v stat'yakh, napisannykh na boleye pozdniy srok. Teper' moya samootsenka byla privyazana k proizvodstvu filosofskikh traktatov. Budem nadeyat'sya, chto ya khotel by sdelat' imya dlya sebya kak filosofa.

YA sledoval za etot plan na ostavshuyusya chast' moyey zhizni. YA obrashchayu vnimaniye na yeshche boleye uzkiy diapazon informatsii, kotoraya svyazana s toy ili inoy napisaniya proyekta. YA schitayu, chto ya mogu vspomnit' tonkiye momenty, svyazannyye s etimi interesami, zabyvaya drugoy opyt v moyey zhizni. Eto pis'mo (bol'she ne filosofskaya) menya derzhit kazhdyy den'.

So vremenem, ya poteryal nekotoryye iz moikh sotsial'noy nelovkosti, kak ya provel rutinnuyu rabotu, i obshchalsya s moimi sotrudnikami v uryvkami. YA chuvstvuyu sebya s druz'yami, no ne s neznakomymi lyud'mi neizvestnogo interesa. YA nikogda ne razvit' navyk podderzhat' razgovor v barakh. YA po-prezhnemu neudobnyy chelovek, kotoryy stoit u sebya na obshchestvennykh meropriyatiyakh, a drugiye zanimayutsya, polnotsennoy lichnoy besedy.

Dazhe yesli filosofiya ne yavlyayetsya khoroshey osnovoy dlya sotsial'nykh otnosheniy v eti dni, ya derzhu sebya idti putem uchastiya v serii lichnykh proyektov. YA pishu traktaty, chto malo kto budet chitat'. To, chto ya delayu ne byvayet, chtoby vpisat'sya v kontekst segodnyashnego populyarnogo interesa. No ya uzhe davno otkazalis' ot goloda dlya lichnogo priznaniya. Eto slishkom pozdno, na samom dele dlya takikh veshchey, chtoby pribyt' moy put'. To, chto ya seychas byl opredelen, kogda mne bylo desyat' ili dvenadtsat' let.

 

 Postskriptum

Ya ballotirovat'sya na gosudarstvennyye dolzhnosti kak rasshireniye moyego interesa k ideyam - v dannom sluchaye, idei, svyazannyye s gosudarstvennoy politikoy. Nikto ne podderzhal moi kampanii. Oni byli v osnovnom odnim chelovekom operatsii i rezul'taty pokazali. No, yesli u vas yest' idei, to luchshe deystvovat' tak, chtoby eti idei mogut materializovat'sya, chem prosto ustanovit' ikh na bumage.

Ya nikogda ne ballotirovalsya na gosudarstvennyye dolzhnosti v moikh pervykh shestidesyati let. Za posledniye desyat' let, ya pobezhal v shest' raz i proigral vse vybory, konechno. Odin iz moikh khudshikh rezul'tatov, kogda ya ballotirovalsya na post mera Minneapolise v 2009 godu ya zakonchil devyatyy sredi dvenadtsati kandidatov, svyazyvaya s kandidatom po imeni Bob Karni. YA poluchil 230 First Choice golosov (0,5% ot obshchego chisla). Karni poluchil 229 golosov First Choice. Eto byl razocharovyvayushchiy rezul'tat.

No potom proizoshlo nechto udivitel'noye. V maye 2010 goda Bob Karni sprosil menya, yesli ya byl by gotov ballotirovat'sya na post vitse-gubernator shtata Minnesota na bilet s nim. Nichego ne ozhidal ot menya v kachestve kandidata. YA soglasilsya. Bilet Karni-McGaughey poluchil 9,856 golosov (7,56% ot obshchego chisla) v Respublikanskoy pervichnoy dlya gubernatora, khorosho dlya vtoroye mesto sredi chetyrekh kandidatov.

Luchshe dlya menya, chem rezul'tat vyborov v tom, chto ya priobrel novogo druga. Bob Karni yavlyayetsya intellektual'noy, chelovek idey, ili, v sovremennoy terminologii, kretin. YA tozhe Teper' u menya yest' kto-to, chtoby pogovorit' s o moikh idey i stremleniy v zhizni. Chast' sotsial'nogo bar'yera slomat'sya. Pora.

 

     chtoby: filosofskiye i analiticheskikh trudov

 

Nazhmite dlya perevoda v:

Angliyskiy - Frantsuzskiy - Ispanskiy - Nemetskiy - Portugal'skiy - Ital'yanskiy

uproshchennyy kitayskiy - Indoneziyskiy - Turetskiy - Pol'skiy - Gollandskiy


Copyright 2017 THISTLEROSE IZDANIYA - Vse prava zashchishcheny

http://www.BilMcGaughey.com/toofocusedl.html